i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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