my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
