i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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