This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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