I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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