Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
