I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
