I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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