you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
