We named our party play list daddy issues
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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