I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
