Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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