i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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