all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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