You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
