Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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