I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
