pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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