Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
