The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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