when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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