I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
