you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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