I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
