people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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