we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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