I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
