Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
