You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
