I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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