i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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