he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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