And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
