That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
