He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
