okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
