Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize