I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
