Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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