did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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