The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
