im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
