i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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