I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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