I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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