margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
