This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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