how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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