Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
