You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We smell like vodka and hangover
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