i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
