AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
