She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize