party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
