I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
