you guys were way drunker than both of me
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
