I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
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She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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