did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
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The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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