Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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