Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
