Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
