He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We named our party play list daddy issues
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
