We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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